Sherry's ULTIMATE affordable, innovative, and potentially heroic guide to gift-giving

195 unconventional gift ideas that won't add more (coarse scatological term) to the recipients' lives

Although the words look and sound similar, you never want to mix up eschatology with scatology. One is all about end-of-the-world prophecies—heady stuff. The other is all about scat, dung, excrement.

But what is excrement, really? Biologically speaking, it’s the leftovers of what was consumed—after the body kept what it actually needed. In English, as well as many other languages, scatological terms are considered crass and sometimes used as mild obscenities. Even a pre-meltdown three-year-old knows that to call someone a poopie head is a world class insult. Humans, with the exception of wildlife biologists, are generally not fond of the steaming post-consumer piles of waste we thought we needed but didn’t.

But this post is not about B.S. (bear scat, right?). No, this post is about . . . turn away now if you find scatological terms offensive . . . crap. Or rather, it is about the innovative and intentional art of avoiding personal responsibility for adding more crap to people’s lives. I suppose I could have used a less jarring term like junk or stuff. I don’t typically have a potty-mouth, and in years past I would have chosen one of those lesser two, but I really like to say the word crap for some reason. It has such a sharp and satisfying sound; like snap, crackle, pop; and bubble wrap all rolled into one crisp, dismissive term of utter disdain. Crap.

Incidentally, if you want to know more about the origin of the Middle English word crap, its Dutch, Old French, and original Latin roots, and how it is related to an innovative English plumber named Thomas Crapper, I recommend you click here for an informative article.

Please don't be offended. This is the world Andy and I live in right now. If you’ve been reading along, you know we are all about minimalism these days, sorting what we need and don't need, and drastically reducing our possessions. I’ve been documenting the process; click here and here and also here to read about it. Now we have less than a week (!!!) left of living in a bricks and mortar structure with a physical address. We have rehomed or discarded everything that doesn’t go with us. And even though we haven’t yet left the driveway, we have already noticed the less crap we own, the happier we seem to be.

But the holidays are upon us. (Yes, I said holidays. There are many of them this time of year. That doesn’t mean I hate Christmas.) Gift-giving holidays like Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or even just anniversaries or birthdays can easily become craptacular events that “require” bins and boxes of stored clutter and trips to the store to even “properly” celebrate, and then the resulting gifts themselves add even more clutter to our lives. So much we consume because we think we need it when we really don’t. SO MUCH CRAP.

Last year’s “Christmas tree” in our little apartment, my attempt at creating something festive-ish, while also using up everything we have ever owned—in this case a pad of Post-It Notes and the stickers left over from the estate sale, as well as our one remaining string of lights and some red ribbon that was shipped to us by mistake.

Below, I would like to present a few alternatives. You have already seen or considered some of them, no doubt. But I am confident that many of these gift-giving ideas—especially the ones toward the end of this extensive list—will be completely novel, and could make you, the giver, into a hero, a gift-giving legend that will be handed down in family lore for generations to come.

Before we begin, I need to address the term affordable in my subtitle. We all know beauty is in the eye of the beholder. For instance, I swoon over early 1960s station wagons, but I realize this puts me in a very limited subset of car lovers. A classic episode of my favorite television show exemplifies this basic principle. Here’s a short clip you might enjoy:

Affordability, likewise, is in the budget of the giver. Like the story of the widow’s mite in the Biblical accounts recorded by Mark (click here) and Luke (click here), what is considered stingy to one might be generous to another. You know what you want to spend on a gift, and you have your reasons. I am not here to make recommendations or judge. So don’t scan the list for price categories; I have stirred all the ideas together like a big batch of Chex Mix.

Remember, all of the items here are designed to avoid adding more crap to the recipient’s life. But I realize not everyone is a minimalist. Some physical items, like these for instance, are intended to be consumable, so they’re cool with me—or would be if I had a home to enjoy them in. I did make a few calculated exceptions to my minimalist approach in the list, but I think you will understand why. Read on.

NOTE: All photos are either my own or are royalty-free stock images I pay for through a subscription service. I should have mentioned that fact 22 posts ago.

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GIFT CARDS/GIFT CERTIFICATES

When faced with someone difficult to buy for, many people shrug and pick up a gift card to Amazon or Target or some other favorite store. If a gift card is as complicated as you want to go this year, might I recommend something that won’t be immediately traded for more material possessions?

Food

• Get creative! There is more to life than Applebees and Olive Garden. Research the recipient’s area and find something fun and unique. For example, if you are buying for an ice cream lover, check out a small, local business that specializes in rolled ice cream or gelato. Just search up a category, like ice cream, frozen yogurt, coffee, boba tea, sushi, pizza, BBQ, cookies, pho, donuts, craft beer, cupcakes, breakfast burritos, curry, cinnamon rolls, falafel, chocolates, etc. in their town and see what comes up. Even if you can’t go there in person, you can usually purchase an e-gift card or ask them to mail a physical card or certificate to your gift recipient.

  

  Clockwise from upper left: boba tea, falafel, rolled ice cream, pho. YUM.

Movie Theater

• If you have movie lovers on your list, check to see which theaters are available in their area. The most common theater chains in the USA are Regal, AMC, and Cinemark, but a smaller local theater is even more fun—and good for the community, too. Some cities have steeply discounted second-run theaters, which makes your gift stretch even further. Maybe the region even has a drive-in! Wouldn’t that be fun? Search online for the website or phone number of the theaters nearby and inquire about gift card options.

Nursery/Greenhouse

• Even in a colder climate, the person on your list with the green thumb will not be sad to have to wait for spring to use a gift certificate to a local nursery. On the contrary, that will leave ample time to research and plan out their planting. This is a gift that will provide so much joy and beauty—for the season, or perhaps even for years to come! Even if they are closed for the season, a quick phone call to your local nursery will probably do the trick.

  

Secondhand Store

• Thrift shopping can be loads of fun for a person who is patient and willing to sort through lots of things they don’t like to find the unexpected treasures they absolutely love. My recommendation is to search up thrift stores in the area of the gift recipient and choose one that supports a cause you respect. Chances are, they have gift cards/certificates available. Yes, this will potentially add crap into someone’s home, but hopefully it will be highly curated and deeply loved crap, so that’s different. Perhaps you could issue a challenge with your gift that for every item they purchase with their gift card, they should donate back two things they rarely ever wear or use. Sing it with me, “. . . the circle of life . . .”

Craft/Hobby Stores

• Make a bold move toward something NOT DIGITAL by giving a gift card to a craft store, a fabric store, or a hobby shop. If the person you are shopping for has never really expressed much interest in crafty things, all the better! Your gift will get them in the door and exploring the aisles. Who knows? That gift card might launch a new passion in their life!

Book Store

• Look for a locally owned small business in their town that deals in both new and used books. Your gift will stretch a long way there, and chances are, the recipient will love the freedom to trade books in exchange for credit, if they weren’t already aware of this system. This one is great for all ages and activity levels. You can’t go wrong with books. Books never count as crap. (Hey, it’s my post, so I get to make the rules.)

Home Maintenance/Decor

• Many cities have a Habitat for Humanity store called ReStore filled with used building materials, appliances, furniture, odd bits of funky decor, and home maintenance supplies. It’s like a big thrift shop without the racks of clothes and shelves of mismatched dishes. These are great places for inspiration, as well as for budget-friendly repairs and replacements. A gift certificate to a ReStore, or its equivalent, would be a great idea for anyone with a fixer-upper home, or someone with an eye for quirky, vintage design. Plus, your gift supports their organization.

Sporting Goods

• Second-hand sporting goods equipment is the way to go for young people who are still regularly outgrowing their equipment, or for anyone who wants to pursue an athletic hobby without committing big money to the gear it requires. Stores like Play It Again Sports and REI do a nice job of making sure all the gear is in good working order, but priced low enough to be affordable to many. Anything that distracts people from glowing screens is a win, in my book.

  

Game Store

• Another great way to build non-screen time into young people’s lives is to get them interested in playing board games and card games. The world of old-school analog gaming has exploded in recent years as people fight against the intrusion of ever-present glowing screens. A gift certificate to a game store would let the recipient(s) pick out something they like and would play. Game stores even host game night events where people can try out new games before buying.

Body Art

• Won’t that artsy adult be floored when they open a gift certificate to a tattoo shop? From YOU? Ha! If that’s what they really want, and you trust them to choose something tasteful, then why not? It’s much more common now than it once was. If the person is already set in a career that doesn’t mind a little body art (or they have already retired!), then it’s really no big deal. If they are still young, however, you might at least suggest only placing the tattoo where it can be covered by typical work clothes when necessary, just in case.

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UNIQUE EXPERIENCES/ACTIVITIES

Instead of something available at any time, like a gift card to a restaurant or movie theater, how about something that they might only do once over the course of a year, or perhaps even once in a lifetime? Check out the event calendar for the area where the gift recipient lives (including any local universities) and do a little snooping. Also check out a website called Viator to find unique experience ideas in their area. We have had good experiences with that site, as it is driven by user reviews with comments.

Cultural Events

• How about two tickets to a concert in a musical genre they might like? If it is not a band they already know, even better! Free tickets will help a person expand their horizons a bit. They might even discover a new favorite musician or genre! Don’t be afraid of something that seems a bit obscure. One of the coolest concerts I’ve ever attended was a night of Afro-Cuban big band music—most of it in Spanish. I didn’t understand much, but it was incredibly entertaining.

• Tickets to a live theatre event are always a hit, too. It doesn’t have to be as expensive as the Broadway touring company, either. Search up the local community theaters and look at their upcoming season. And don’t forget dinner theatre! Ready to spend a little more? Season tickets to a small community theater might not be out of reach.

• Have you ever been to a fancy high tea? What a fun gift it would be to give! Search up tea shops and local historic mansions and see what is available. It might be the perfect gift for a mom and daughter(s) or a group of friends or all the cousins.

  

• A visit to a local art gallery, museum, or art activity center is another great gift to expand someone’s horizons a bit. Check their calendars to see if a new art show is coming up and buy tickets to see it. Or get more hands-on and give tickets to a sip and paint party, where adults (or maybe even teens) at any ability level can spend an evening painting under the direction of a skilled artist, while sipping beverages and munching on snacks—fun and relaxing.

Personal Pampering

• The gift of a massage, a facial, a manicure/pedicure, a haircut/color/style is a great idea if you are looking to give a gift that brings a bit of peace and relaxation to someone who is perpetually overworked or stressed out. Read reviews online to get recommendations or ask around.

  

Spectator Sports and Activities

• Do you know a sports fan? Tickets to see a professional team play are always exciting, as are tickets to see a local college team. Don’t forget about lesser known and women’s sports, too. Going to see a college volleyball game or a water polo match, for example, is an exciting experience and could be quite inspiring for a budding young athlete. And don’t underestimate the fun of a minor league baseball game. We have found that they are even more fun than the big leagues because you are so close to the action and the staff works very hard to keep the fans engaged and participating.

• Depending on your location, a local small airport might be an excellent source of a scenic ride in a small plane or a hot air balloon. The less touristy the area, the better your chances are of finding something affordable. It’s always fascinating to see your home region from the air, and a ride like one of these is often a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

• If your recipient is near the ocean, whale watching excursions are a fascinating experience at the right time of year. The more people on the boat, the lower the price will be. Read up on reviews before committing, of course.

Participation Sports and Activities

• Golf fans or those who might enjoy learning would love a trip to the driving range or green fees paid up in advance, just waiting for them to schedule a tee time.

• Ice skating is a fun winter activity, whether you have an outdoor or indoor rink available. It’s a great idea for a family, a couple, or a single (with an extra pass to bring a friend).

• Bowling alleys have never lost their appeal over the decades. Some get fancy these days and offer black light/neon sessions. And they all love to offer specials. I checked a bowling alley near me and found a deal for up to five people to bowl three games, including shoes, plus a pitcher of soda and a large pizza, all for $43. This would be a fun experience for any age!

  

• Teens and young adults who love to ski or snowboard always enjoy receiving lift tickets for a day on the slopes, if there is a ski area nearby. I know this one from experience. My kids were excited year after year.

• Live near a big body of water, but don’t have a boat? The anglers or those who wish they were would love a chartered fishing trip. Depending on the number of passengers, the prices can vary widely, so check around. Maybe you even know someone personally who could make this happen for a discounted price.

Amusement Park/Water Park/Family Fun Center

• Tickets to a big amusement park, even a smaller local one, provide an entire day of family fun. Many cities have water parks with giant slides and wave pools. And don’t forget the family fun centers with their miniature golf, bumper cars, batting cages, and the like. They may only be open seasonally, but looking forward to the experience will be part of the fun. No one will forget they have this experience waiting for them when the weather improves.

  

Parks Passes

• An annual pass to the recipient’s State Park system or the National Parks is an excellent gift for people who like to get outdoors and do a little hiking and exploring. The freedom to go whenever the time and weather are right is an excellent gift. Plus, all U.S. National Parks and some state parks as well have junior ranger programs for kids (and kids at heart). Time spent outdoors is never wasted.

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CLASSES AND LESSONS

Learning to do something new is always exciting. Again, you can go with interests you already know they have, or you can go for something they’ve never tried before—it could be the start of a lifelong hobby.

Self-Directed Classes

• For in-depth studies (adult level), check out MasterClass and The Great Courses. These are offered on many topics, from everyday skills to purely academic pursuits.

• Other sites like Udemy and Coursera offer coursework from kids to college level, entirely online, for very reasonable prices.

• There are really so many online learning opportunities available, but I don’t want to recommend more things that plant people in front of screens, so we will move on.

Higher-Energy Group or Private Activity Lessons

• Remember the old roller-skating rinks we enjoyed as kids? Some of them still exist, still rent out those awesome and clunky skates, and even offer lessons. When I was a kid, my girl scout troop took roller skating lessons together every Saturday morning for a month or two. I still remember how much fun that was.

• Same as above, but ice-skating rinks. I wish I had taken some lessons as a kid. I could and still can do the basics, but skating backwards efficiently still eludes me. Maybe I need to sign up for some lessons as a gift to myself!

• For the more adventurous young person, how about skateboarding or even surfing lessons? Kids (and adults!) love to be good at fun things, and lessons help develop skills and confidence.

• For people of all ages, dance lessons are often welcomed. Frequently, studios offer introductory sets of lessons, just to see if you like it before committing. This could make a great gift. Ballroom, hip hop, salsa, swing, ballet, tap—so many options.

  

• Other high-energy lessons include gymnastics, swimming, martial arts, tennis, even fencing! It’s so fun to learn new things, even if you don’t stick with it for long and only pick up some of the basics. Oh, and don’t forget personal training sessions if your recipient likes to go to the gym to work out.

Lower-Energy Group or Private Activity Lessons

• How about a second-hand keyboard and some introductory piano lessons, just to see if they like it? Any musical instrument would be great here.

• For the person who likes to sing, voice lessons would be a spectacular gift. Some basic training and skills could go a long way.

• Of course, there are all kinds of art and craft lessons available for all ages. Painting, sewing, DSLR photography, sculpture, ceramics, flower-arranging, etc. Check with local galleries and museums, plus art and craft stores. Even places like Michael’s and Joann Fabrics offer one-day make-and-take classes in all sorts of things. Maybe you could sign up too and learn something new together!

• Cooking classes are also available for all ages and ability levels. Classes are often just a one afternoon or evening event, focused on a very specific style of cuisine, or even just one particular dish. What a great way to instill or nurture a love of preparing great food at home!

  

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MEMBERSHIPS

• Museums can be fascinating for all ages, and kids who are reluctant at first will learn to enjoy them in time. Consider science and technology museums, classical and contemporary art museums, human and natural history museums, hands-on children’s museums, special topic museums like aircraft, automotive, maritime, railroad or military museums, museums that honor a particular culture or craft. If you can afford it, consider a membership for an individual, a couple, or a household. Check the varying levels of membership on the website—if it says it is part of a reciprocal program, that means the membership to that one museum also applies to other museums in the same program all over the country or even the world. Our family did this during our extended travels; we purchased a membership to a science museum in one town, then enjoyed unlimited free admission to science museums in major cities all across the United States. Some museums also include other cool features like a planetarium, an IMAX movie theater, or a ship or submarine parked outside to explore. Some of these require extra admission, so check the details.

• For getting out and enjoying a wide variety of natural beauty without too much hiking, consider a membership to a garden, an arboretum, a historic grand estate, or a botanical society. These can also be part of a reciprocal program, so pay attention to the fine print. And don’t forget Japanese gardens; they are some of the most entrancing places you will ever visit.

  

• Aquariums, zoos, wildlife parks—all of these make for great gift options, either singular tickets or memberships. And they’re not just for children, either! Look to see what is around your intended recipient’s area.

• Other membership ideas are less playful and more practical. For young adults, consider a AAA membership with emergency roadside service, flat repair, accidental lockout service, emergency fuel delivery, etc. For older adults, a membership to AARP could get a good laugh at the family gathering, but it’s actually handy for getting various discounts and services. A Costco membership could be a great gift for a family who wouldn’t have otherwise splurged on it.

• Memberships around special interests, like Ancestry.com for someone interested in studying genealogy, are abundant. The options are nearly limitless. Choose a topic and search for online memberships around it.

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SUBSCRIPTIONS

• Print magazines and journals are almost a thing of the past, but there is still something so satisfying about receiving a magazine in the mail, addressed to you, then curling up in a comfy chair to read article after luxurious article.

• Gift of the Month Club subscriptions are the latest trend, it seems. There are coffee clubs, flower clubs, mystery-solving clubs, hot sauce clubs, scented candle clubs, snacks from other countries clubs, bacon clubs, dog treat and toy clubs, make-up clubs, sock clubs, chocolate clubs, soap clubs, succulent clubs, kids’ crafts clubs, fabric clubs, even ice cream clubs where they send you a new pint each month, packed in dry ice for shipping. The prices vary wildly, but I suppose it is fun to get a package in the mail each month with things to try. A word of caution, though: other than the consumable items, you will end up with extra crap. Who really needs 12 extra pair of socks, on top of what they already have? And twelve packages of make-up samples or twelve jars of hot sauce? Seems excessive.

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GIFTS OF YOURSELF

Here is where the magic happens, in my opinion. These are the most exciting, interactive, memorable, yes, even heroic gifts in this whole gift guide. The idea for this section is simple: why not insert yourself into the gift itself? If you have a skill or resource—really any skill or resource—you can share it, making memories, as well as giving valued services. Here are some ideas to get you started, but let your own creativity run wild! For fun, you can create a little gift certificate of your own to wrap up and put under the tree.

Things that work best if you live nearby or plan to visit

• Offer your services as a babysitter so the recipient can enjoy an evening out (with or without a gift card to a restaurant). Maybe even commit to several times spread throughout the coming year.

• Prearrange a date to make a homemade meal and/or dessert and deliver it to their house.

• Do a casual photo portrait session at a park or the beach, then email them the digital files. (If you are good at photo editing, you could offer that, too.)

• Offer to teach a skill you have to kids, teens, young adults, anyone who might like to learn something new: knitting, sewing, woodworking, cooking, pie making, cake decorating, art appreciation, computer programing, bird-watching, rock hounding, magic tricks, dog training, house plants, graphic design, home maintenance, hair styling, painting, drawing, candy-making, photography, make-up, acting, stage make-up, sailing, canning, pasta making, car maintenance, gardening, landscaping, paper making, ham radio, cursive handwriting, calligraphy, first aid, outdoor survival, emergency preparedness, small engine repair, musical instrument, voice, public speaking, creative writing, basic financial literacy, etc. If they really enjoyed your tutelage, offer it again next year. Woodworking 101 could progress to intermediate and advanced levels.

• You could teach them how to do basic carpentry by working side-by-side, installing crown molding together in one or more rooms in their house with you covering the cost of materials, if possible. What a gift!

  

• Offer to work together to create a t-shirt quilt from all the fun memory t-shirts that have piled up over the years (and are currently just taking up space as crap).

• Plant a flower garden together at their house, passing along the things you’ve learned over the years. Again, offer to buy some or all the plants, soil, etc., if you can.

• Put your landscape design skills and ingenuity to work and help them create and install a pretty water feature in their backyard.

• Work on fixing up their project car together.

• Help them create a fancy multi-course dinner, then clear out while they have their friends over for a little party.

• Act the part of the sommelier for a wine-tasting event for the recipient(s) and their friends, at their home.

• Offer small group dance lessons for them and their friends, teaching them some steps from a day gone by.

• Be the event photographer for their party with their friends, perhaps even setting up a mini studio with a backdrop and lighting off to one side. Then you can take a nice headshot portrait for each of the guests to use in their professional lives.

• Teach kids to read and write cursive handwriting and then send a series of handwritten letters in the mail for them to “decipher.”

  

• Play the part of an aloof, well-dressed chauffeur to take teens to a school dance in your fancy car.

• Draw a mural on their bedroom wall and work together to paint it.

Things you can give from afar, even if you can’t come in person

• Donate a chunk of airline miles so they can afford to travel.

• Schedule a camping trip where you can meet up for a weekend. Especially if it is for a young family, you could offer to do all the meal planning/shopping/prep.

• Create a pizza delivery punch card with a set number of pizzas they can order over the course of the year, but they call YOU instead of their local pizza place and then YOU call in the order, pay for it, and have it delivered to their house.

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DONATIONS

If none of the above ideas will work for whatever reason, and the person you’d like to buy for really doesn’t want ANYTHING, you can always make a donation to a good cause in the recipient’s name. Make sure it is a cause THEY would support, then give them a little note or certificate showing proof of their donation.

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This monster of a post is almost finished, friends. I can’t believe you’re still here. I hope you skimmed over much of it, scanning for things that would work for you—promoting a lifestyle involving less crap and fewer hours spent staring at glowing screens. I hope this list was helpful and got your creative juices flowing. Can you think of someone else who might benefit from it? Click share to pass it on.

Which ideas made you smile? What have I missed? Please add any other fun, fresh, crap-free ideas in the comments. I can’t wait to read about what you have given, or received, or what you hope to give, or whatever else popped into your head as you read through all this. With your comments added, this will likely be the longest gift guide this side of the Mighty Mississipp’, or at least the longest here on Substack. You might want to check back in a couple of days to see what others have added.

I‘ll return to the gratitude call-outs and the audio track next Tuesday, friends. For now, I’m too tired and this post is too long.

Until next week,

Sherry