Hospitality. I like it and always want to just move forward with the invite- people don’t really care if your kitchen isn’t spotless, the stacks of paper hidden away, etc. They want to be with you, be listened to, feel valued. But. My husband. First, he’s an introvert. On top of that, he’s a planner. Surprises don’t feel easy for him- What will we eat? The house isn’t picked up! I have this other commitment tomorrow- this is too much! He also has a health condition that zaps his energy more quickly. If you know me, the house not being picked up is a legitimate concern, although it’s better as an empty nester. I also get happier when I get to be with people. We always try to let the person with the strongest feelings about something have their way in our relationship, if it’s all the same to the other. I bend to his needs in this, but I feel bad that I’m internally disappointed and impatient with him, even when I don’t say it. I do realize that extra planning on my part makes it easier for him, and i tend to be a spur of the moment kinda girl and, if I’m being honest, I can be a touch lazy. I need to get better at the planning that if I want to be more hospitable on a regular basis. It’s a goal. But thinking about it tires me. That being said- I wanna come over!
Sharla, the hospitality you showed me as a young mom was revolutionary for me. You truly didn't seem to care if there were piles here and there in your house. Guests were for conversation and laughter and even occasionally tears--not for showing off an immaculate home.
You have a challenging situation now, with your husband's extra needs, but I think you will find a way to balance it out--you just might need to learn to think ahead better. But then, you have always been adept at learning new things. 😊
Hospitality. I like it and always want to just move forward with the invite- people don’t really care if your kitchen isn’t spotless, the stacks of paper hidden away, etc. They want to be with you, be listened to, feel valued. But. My husband. First, he’s an introvert. On top of that, he’s a planner. Surprises don’t feel easy for him- What will we eat? The house isn’t picked up! I have this other commitment tomorrow- this is too much! He also has a health condition that zaps his energy more quickly. If you know me, the house not being picked up is a legitimate concern, although it’s better as an empty nester. I also get happier when I get to be with people. We always try to let the person with the strongest feelings about something have their way in our relationship, if it’s all the same to the other. I bend to his needs in this, but I feel bad that I’m internally disappointed and impatient with him, even when I don’t say it. I do realize that extra planning on my part makes it easier for him, and i tend to be a spur of the moment kinda girl and, if I’m being honest, I can be a touch lazy. I need to get better at the planning that if I want to be more hospitable on a regular basis. It’s a goal. But thinking about it tires me. That being said- I wanna come over!
Sharla, the hospitality you showed me as a young mom was revolutionary for me. You truly didn't seem to care if there were piles here and there in your house. Guests were for conversation and laughter and even occasionally tears--not for showing off an immaculate home.
You have a challenging situation now, with your husband's extra needs, but I think you will find a way to balance it out--you just might need to learn to think ahead better. But then, you have always been adept at learning new things. 😊